OFFICIAL NOTICE OF SALT

This is to certify that

has successfully completed the Salt Examinations, including:

• Applying salt to one (1) actual pot of beans
• Exceeding the previously established limit of both two (2) and six (6) grains
• Correctly identifying when less salt was required
• Lodging a formal grievance against himself
• Successfully diverting extraneous saltwater flooding from two (2) dozen cookies from one very cute bee

All examinations were conducted with a witness present.

In recognition of these achievements, the examiner has purchased salt.gripe, for the sum of five American clams.

The domain is hereby offered to the Captain for the filing of grievances, salt-related or otherwise.

No explanation of the grievances is required.

Congratulations.